Elements Of Kirk: Cow Tipping

COW TIPPING

Early in the morning, by Moonlight we hunt;

We seeked out Mushrooms, with the aid of a blunt.

The Moon at half-crest, we could barely see;

Purple Caps in some Cow Pies, to make us some Tea!

So, we stopped at this Cow field, it was one of a dozen;

We had quite a group, even my Girlfriend and Cousin.

As we started looking, with a half-dead flashlight;

We saw all these Mushrooms, right there in sight...

With gloved hands we picked, and put them in the bag;

So many in fact, things got heavy, our bag started to sag!

Made our trip back to my van, weighed them on the spot;

50 pounds on the nose, boy this place was hot!

Took a few shots of Whiskey, voted to go out again;

This place was a sure thing, no way we couldn't win.

But this time, we came upon sleeping Cows;

Worked our way around them, as the time allows.

And my Cousin thought it funny, to tip a cow over, and as it hit the ground;

It started to Moo, Howl, and Squeal, making an awful sound!

Then...just like that, we heard a heavy clomp;

Apparently the Bull was not happy, and it was us, he'd like to stomp...

Now I remember back when I was young, I Loved to climb the trees;

Did that for a long time, till I ticked off a gang of Bees!

And now, being so much older, being drunk and really high;

Suddenly assumed Spider Man status, and instantly learned to fly...

In to the trees we went, out of sight, no where to be seen;

While the Bull stood beneath us snorting, really looking mean.

And if that wasn't enough, the Farmer, he woke from his sleep;

Running around with his shotgun below us...we didn't make a peep!

So, after about an hour, the Farmer...well, he went home;

The Cow got up and went back to sleep, the Bull left us alone.

And we climbed down from the trees, made a beeline toward the van;

We got what we came for, and a lot that we didn't plan!

Back Home we boiled the Shrooms, and then we strained;

Bunch of half-baked Chemist working, as the morning waned...

Adding some powdered Kool-Aid, just to cut the bite;

As we toasted a cup, discussing what went on last night.

And we tripped and laughed, as we hallucinated;

As we cheered on the concoction, that we had just formulated.

And we pledged we'd be friends for life, with everybody tripping;

And to always always avoid, any Cow Tipping!

Kirk Carter

5/23/2016

Elements Of Kirk